...you call someone whose phone just keeps ringing and ringing and you shriek “Fuck you Lance, answer!!!”
...someone asks if you’ll be attending a particular event and you coolly declare “I’m goin’, that’s all there is to it, I’m fuckin’ goin’.”
...you wash your hands but aren’t quite satisfied with their cleanliness and you mutter “Maybe if I had some Lava I coulda done a better job.”
...someone asks you what you think and you proffer “Man, I don’t even have an opinion” then hope no one shoots you in the face.
...someone should understand you but doesn’t and you want to scream “English, motherfucker, do you speak it?!!?”
...you can’t eat bacon without remarking “Bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.”
...you can’t go through a car wash without commenting “Pretty please. With sugar on top. Clean the fuckin’ car.”
...you can’t see or hear the words “blueberry pie” without thinking how fast you desperately need to say them.
...you can’t soothe your sore feet (or anyone else’s) without bragging “I’m the foot fuckin’ master...”
...you can’t try a new burger from a new restaurant without exclaiming “Mmm-hmm...that is a tasty burger.”
