Southland Tales

Ever watch a movie late at night, when you're really tired, and find yourself utterly clueless what is going on in the movie because you're dozing off for several seconds every few minutes? This was my experience watching Southland Tales, except it wasn't that late, and I was wide awake every second. Yet still I kept feeling like I'd missed something.

The structure is a complete mess. It has the feel of a movie that was much longer until the studio or distributor forced some edits for a decent running time. Within the story's timeline, days seem to pass while some characters do nothing but drive from one place to another, never leaving the city...yet other characters manage to traverse citywide distances in almost no time at all, from one scene to the next. Some characters are unconscious until the plot requires them to wake up, whether it's a few minutes or several hours, while others never seem to eat or sleep or even leave their rooms. I know the movie is supposed to have an otherworldly quality to it, and the nature of our known existence may not always apply, but still...even an alternate reality has to have structural integrity - rules of its own - which is not being upheld here. It's a big ol' convoluted mess.

I am a fan of Donnie Darko, more so the director's cut, and I use that as an example of Richard Kelly's ability to set up alternate realities, with different rules from our own, and abide by them. He doesn't do that here. He's attempted something so big and so far-reaching that he can't contain it within this movie. I suppose that's why there are three graphic novels leading up to the events of the movie, but guess what - if the movie doesn't make sense on its own, it isn't a good movie. If I don't know what the movie's about after thirty-five minutes, the filmmakers have done a poor job of telling the story.

For you Southland fans out there, please don't try to tell me I wasn't paying attention, or it's a movie you have to think about, or it was just over my head - I'm a pretty smart guy, and I've seen a lot of movies. I get that it's meant to be political satire in the realm of science fiction. I get that it's a story about things that don't always make sense and therefore it's not always going to make sense. Donnie Darko did the same thing, with psychological issues instead of political issues, and that movie makes perfect sense to me. The difference is in the storytelling, and the story is not being told here as much as it is merely being referenced...as if the movie is made for people who are already fans of, and therefore familiar with, the Southland universe.

I believe it is clear to me what Richard Kelly is attempting to do - it's just not working. He's trying to make a satire, a comedy, by casting mostly comic actors and having them play their roles seriously. But the movie isn't funny. The tone is not funny, or odd, or comedic or sarcastic in any way. It's a bit full of itself, but accomplishes nothing more than making the apparently serious not so serious. The cast is diverse and interesting, including five SNL cast members, one from MADtv, and even Christopher Lambert! What purpose their characters serve in the story, however...I have no idea. I will give Seann William Scott a lot of credit, for turning in a very interesting and more dramatic performance than he usually provides, because he's typically a comic actor in a comic film, and it's nice to see that he's capable of more. Too bad the movie itself doesn't support him.

There's a voice over narration from Justin Timberlake that feels useless and tacked on, a long music video right in the middle of the movie that serves no real purpose, many sequences that go on and on and do nothing but establish mood that doesn't relate to the story in any recognizable way...no real beginning, anti-climactic ending, and two, yes TWO separate third act instances of the jesus christ pose, which is such a pretentious and cliched image to put in your movie, at least when you're so obvious about it, that all I can do is scoff at what a dumb idea it was. And they did it twice.

Hopefully this is one of those things where a writer/director makes a popular, respected movie his first time out, totally craps a big one on the second film, then gets his act together for the third. So I will be looking forward to The Box next year, though I must point out that in adapting a story by the legendary Richard Matheson, Kelly has a lot going for his third film out of the gate - less to prove, more to start with, and a better chance of being able to simply focus on making a good film instead of "doing his thing".

Southland Tales is a big stinking mess. I get it, but I don't like it. The movie isn't whole enough to be appreciated. People who like it may be fooling themselves into thinking confusing means thoughtful, that weird and different is always good and better. Not so. Just watch the director's cut of Donnie Darko again. That's what a weird movie with true depth should be like, and the more I watch it, the more I appreciate it.

Oh, and, Earth to Netflix: the film is not 1 hour 40 minutes, nor 140 minutes; it's actually longer than that. And The Rock is not is this movie. Dwayne Johnson is, but The Rock receives no credit. Get your facts straight, please.