The Wolf Of Wall Street

No, I haven't seen an advance screening, just read the script. Not only will studios release their Oscar bait movies this time of year, they often make several screenplays available online, legal and free, though it's generally temporary. For your consideration.

Anyway, about the script: well-written, feels tailor-made for Scorsese & DiCaprio, and the role Jonah Hill plays also seems written just for him…but the whole thing's basically worthless. Who needs another story about a guy who could and did have everything he ever wanted - most of which is cars, mansions, drugs, and hookers - then squandered it? And all paid for with illegally-acquired millions. Am I meant to have any kind of empathy or sympathy for this character? Why would I fucking bother?

And it's all true, of course. Well, the people are real and these things happened; naturally it's fictionalized and dramatized and sanitized and satirized for our protection…which kinda makes it worse. Because I simply don't see the point in celebrating the choices of a person who was incredibly good at what he did but fucked it all up by being stupid about it. Why does such a talented broker feel the need to engage in any sort of wrongdoing? Why destroy oneself and one's marriage with drugs and infidelities? Is it so fucking difficult to just be happy being insanely rich?

That's a question I suppose I'd like to be able to answer for myself, but setting it aside, there is nothing new or interesting or compelling about this story. We've seen it before, I didn't care then, I don't care now. The movie may very well be quite entertaining, in the hands of the talented filmmakers involved, but this shit ain't worth my time.

Also: nearly all the female characters are sex trophies or hookers. Those who aren't have very little screen time or impact on the story. A head-shaking disappointment.

Man Of Steel

Maybe it’s because I saw Pacific Rim so recently, but I can’t help noticing a few basic similarities here: powerful entities battling each other with fists, inter-dimensional travel, family members sacrificing themselves…

Plot and story details aside, why do these fights always involve people or creatures tossing each other around and smashing into things clearly made of material less durable than they are? For example: Superman punches a guy - some heavily armored Kryptonian dude - and yeah, that probably stings a bit, but then the guy hurtles through the air, and through a building, which crashes down on him...then he gets up and punches Superman. So the hurtling and crashing didn’t really faze him, and I wouldn’t expect it to - but apparently Supes wasn’t thinking that far ahead.

Both these movies are like that. It looks nice and all, the expensive effects achieve their money’s worth, but it’s essentially meaningless, and devoid of dramatic weight. Which is really what I’m looking for. I won’t get that, however, when Kevin Costner’s Jonathan Kent only dies because he and his family were too stupid to take the dog with them when running from a tornado, and he has to go back for it. The same thing nearly happened in Twister; did they not see that flick?

I have to admit I was never much interested in this movie, as I’m just not into the comic book spectacles - but I don’t object to them either, so I’m bound to see them eventually. The major draw for me, however, turned out to be the biggest disappointment: Michael Shannon as General Zod. The guy’s a compelling performer, but the character had nothing going for him. Apparently on Krypton, everyone’s genetically designed for some particular purpose; he got military training. But why does Krypton need a military? Whom are they defending themselves from, or at war with, besides each other? Maybe that’s why he’s so pissed off all the time - he’s got fuck-all to do but pick a fight.

Amy Adams didn’t have much to do either, but is always interesting. I did like Russell Crowe. And Henry Cavill, wherever he came from to star in this, was totally ripped. A decent actor, too, but let’s be honest, most of what he had to do was look super.

Maybe the next movie, which involves Batman, and possibly Lex Luthor, will have a better focus on story and character - because they are mere humans, and ol’ Kal-El can’t just go around super-punching normal folks like that. It also has Wonder Woman, but he probably won’t be smashing her into buildings and gas stations...probably. Hollywood does stupid things sometimes.

This is what happens...

It would be cool if this were a real album and these were real songs. But they aren't. Just a silly thing I was thinking about.

Band: Little Lebowski Urban Achievers

Album: Brandt Can’t Watch

1. Phone’s Ringin’, Dude
2. Over The Line (Mark It Eight)
3. Must Be Exhausting
4. Sasparilla
5. Not A Golfer
6. Calmer Than You
7. Stay Outta Malibu
8. Already The 10th
9. Strong Men Also Cry
10. Her Life Is In Your Hands
11. Let’s Go Bowling
12. The Dude Abides