Sunday, June 1, 2014

Indiana Jones and the Movie That Doesn’t Need Him?

I’ve heard talk recently of this hypothesis, this idea, this belief as some might call it, that in Raiders Of The Lost Ark, everything would have turned out the same had Dr. Jones simply taken a nap and not gotten involved. Or, they say, events may have transpired somewhat differently but resulted in a more or less equal outcome. Yet others claim the outcome was not the result of Indy’s actions, therefore he didn’t play an important role in anything that transpired, so it doesn’t really matter how it turned out because he didn’t really do anything. Some refer to all this as The Minimization Theory, apparently due to some sitcom I’ve never seen and don’t intend to...but whatever they call it, I’m calling it bullshit.


First of all, in terms of storytelling, even if one considers Indy ineffective, he’s still the central character, because it’s his perspective of events being witnessed. If he weren’t involved, how would anybody know about any of this? Who’d be the protagonist? Who else would follow the story to so many different parts of the world? Sallah? Not likely. Screenwriting lessons aside, let’s take a quick look at what actually happens in the movie:

After Indy decides to pursue the Ark at the request of the U.S. government, the Nazis follow him to Marion Ravenwood, where they get an impression from one side of the headpiece to the staff of Ra. With only partial information, they end up digging in the wrong place, but once Indy finds the Ark they just take it from him. However, Indy destroys the plane they were going to use to fly the Ark to Berlin, so they put it on a truck intending to take it to Cairo and fly from there. Naturally, Indy steals the truck, then puts the Ark on a boat. The Nazis promptly chase down the boat, steal back the Ark, and sail away, with stowaway Indy secretly aboard. They stop off at an unnamed island so Belloq can perform some ritual, hoping to verify the Ark’s contents before bringing it to Hitler. After that little idea blows up in (and melts) their faces, the U.S. government gets a hold of the Ark and puts it in some warehouse, the end.


So let’s say, instead of all that adventure, Indy stays home, assessing the advances of coeds who profess feelings on their eyelids, and the Nazis are left to their own devices to locate the Ark. Now, it seems as though they had no idea where to start until they followed the intrepid Dr. Jones to Nepal - remember the creepy guy on the plane, behind the newspaper? - but for the sake of everything else that happens, let’s assume they knew about Abner Ravenwood’s research and could have eventually found Marion on their own. This means they would have acquired the actual headpiece, thus enabling them to dig in the right place and find the Ark, no problem. After that, they would have put it on a plane and flown it to Berlin, probably opened it for Hitler, and possibly melted that stupid little mustache right off his face. No digging intrigue, no basket tossing, no truck chasing, no boat-jacking, no island adventure...just delivered to Der Führer zippity doo-dah.

So how is this outcome equal to that of Indy’s involvement? What if Hitler never intended to open the Ark? Maybe he just wanted to carry it around, thinking it would bring him power, or luck, or something else entirely. Maybe it would have. Maybe he had scientists and religious historians on hand to study it, maybe he felt like placing it in his library and resting his feet on it while he read romance novels...the point is, we don’t know. We have no idea what he planned to do with the Ark once he possessed it, but we DO know that he never will - and that’s because of Indiana Jones.


Even if Hitler had planned to open the Ark in Berlin, and doing so had gone about as well as Belloq’s final experiment, AND left the historical relic in a position to be appropriated by the U.S. government...that’s hardly the same as what results from Indy’s actions. It would have completely changed everything, especially if Hitler himself had been present, to get juiced by lightning like all those soldiers on the island. No more Hitler as of 1936 means no Holocaust, no World War Two, no atomic weapons

Hell, maybe in a larger sense things would have been better - a LOT better - if Indy HAD stayed home and events had been allowed to play out this way...but they certainly wouldn’t be the same. For one thing, Marion would most likely be dead. Is it worth trading her life for all those changes to history? Not in the movies, babe